Extra weight, long hours at the office, and bad habits have a way of creeping up on us and affecting our overall wellbeing.
At least that’s what I told myself one morning when I got out of bed with incredible back pain.The truth is that I have had back pain for quite some time as a result of many years working as a bedside nurse.
Even though most hospitals have a slew of assistive patient mobility devices at our disposal, in the heat of an emergency we often foolishly neglect to use them.
I think it’s something innately born into nurses – the tendency to think of others first, to care for the falling patient, to run and prevent the code.
So, yeah – the pain had been there for some time already. But as I said before, the late hours at work impeding on gym time, the extra pounds gained from sitting at a desk instead of counting steps while working at the bedside, and the ticking of time that makes recuperating just a little bit slower finally joined forces to make this particular day very painful.
I started to analyze my situation.
I had recommitted to the gym and was going several times a week – but progress is always slow in the beginning. I was eating better and trying to be more mobile throughout my day. I was even scheduling my downtime so that life could be as balanced as possible.
But clearly, I was missing something.
It was that day that I saw an advertisement for a free yoga class at a local park. I thought “Why not?”.
As the weekend grew closer, the irrational fears began – and with them the negative thoughts …
I’m not slim enough to do yoga
I’m not flexible enough to do yoga
I’m not experienced enough to attend a yoga class
What if I run into someone I know?
What if I fall?
What if I fail?
Then I stopped myself.
What was I doing?
I always talk about being positive, about overcoming fears, about expanding comfort zones in order to learn and grow.
I couldn’t stop the negative thoughts – we all have them.
But I would replace them each and every time they appeared.
If I thought “What if I fall?” then I would tell myself – “Then I will just get back up”
If I admonished myself because I was not flexible enough – then I followed it with, “Through practice, I will be.”
And on and on and on.
Because the truth is that Everyone gets scared.
Everyone gets nervous.
Everyone is anxious about trying new things.
As Nelson Mandela once said “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear”
And this is true in all areas of life
Even Yoga …
So, I grabbed a yoga mat, convinced my daughter to join me and headed out to the park – fully expecting to be surrounded by a few dozen super-fit twenty-somethings.
And I was right.
But I was also wrong.
There were some super fit twenty-somethings.
But there were also kids, athletes, elderly folks, men, women, and even people recovering from injuries or surgical procedures.
Everyone was in a different state of health. Everyone had diverse levels of abilities. Everyone looked different. Everyone was nice. Everyone was accepting.
And so, I stretched and flexed – and fell and got up – I sweated, I breathed, and I bonded with my daughter.
We laughed, and we learned, and we took a few moments to get centered and appreciate the small things – the wind, the trees, the smell of the freshly cut grass, the positive messages of our instructor, and the small flowers that were just starting to bloom.
When it was over, we felt great. We felt relaxed. We felt proud of having accomplished something outside of our comfort zone and trying something new.
We felt excited about going back the following week. And my back felt better.
It was a wonderful experience physically, mentally, and spiritually.
It gave us some much-needed girl time. It challenged our abilities. It dared us to overcome our fears. It allowed us to have fun while cementing the life lessons that we already know, which is that growth is sometimes a little painful, even if that discomfort is only in our minds.
By putting ourselves into “uncomfortable” situations we ensure that we never cease experimenting, trying new things, learning, developing, and growing.
And yes, I will be back at yoga.
And I will always continue to try new things, to stretch, to grow.
Who knows – maybe next month we can try line dancing?
