Ever feel like navigating the social terrain of your career and personal life requires the skills of a seasoned diplomat and the agility of a circus performer? Yeah, me too. Which is why when someone recommended “Dale Carnegie,” my ears perked up faster than a chihuahua hearing the rustle of a take-out bag at the front door.
So, did “How to Win Friends and Influence People” live up to the hype? Strap in and find out.
This book, first published in 1936 has had numerous facelifts over the years with obvious adaptations to the language and style. The most widely read version, drafted in 1981, is an easy read that can be completed in a few days and focuses on common sense approaches to mastering “people skills” – what we would call “soft skills” in today’s vernacular.
Key Take-Aways
- Show genuine interest in others: People love feeling heard and understood. Ditch the phone, make eye contact, and ask thoughtful questions. You’ll be surprised how much you learn and how connections blossom.
- Focus on appreciation and be generous with your praise. A sincere compliment can go a long way. Point out a colleague’s amazing presentation or your kid’s killer soccer skills. Bonus points for being specific!
- Make people feel important. Acknowledge their contributions, celebrate their successes, and watch those relationships blossom.
- Be a good listener: We’re all guilty of waiting for our turn to talk. Instead, really listen to what others are saying. Ask follow-up questions, show empathy, and resist the urge to interrupt.
- Smile! A genuine smile is contagious and instantly disarming. Plus, it tricks your brain into feeling happier, so it’s a win-win.
Book Pros
- Timeless wisdom: Carnegie’s insights, penned in 1936, are surprisingly relevant today. He reminds us that genuine interest in others, active listening, and a sprinkle of appreciation go a long way in building strong relationships, both personally and professionally.
- Actionable Advice: No fluffy theories here. Carnegie gives you concrete steps to put his principles into practice, like “Become genuinely interested in other people” and “Smile.”
- Career Implications: His advise focuses on building relationships which ultimately can fuel career success. From networking to negotiating, Carnegie’s tips can help you build bridges that will help you navigate the office politics – which is a skill necessary in many top level and executive positions.
- Fun and easy read: Carnegie’s conversational style and relatable anecdotes make this a breeze to devour, even after a long day of dealing with spreadsheets and toddler tantrums.
Book Cons:
- Dated Vibes: Written in the 1930s, some examples feel like relics from a Mad Men episode. But hey, even diamonds need a little polishing, right? Just adapt the language and focus on the core principles.
- Focus on outward charm: While building genuine connections is key, the book can sometimes feel a bit manipulative, emphasizing techniques to win people over rather than fostering authentic friendships. Remember, true connection comes from being your genuine self.
- Gender Imbalance: Carnegie clearly wrote for a male audience but fear not we can still translate his advice to our personal realities and circumstances.
- Not a silver bullet: This isn’t a magic wand for instant popularity. Building relationships takes time and effort, and Carnegie’s tips are just one piece of the puzzle.
The Verdict?
“How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a valuable tool for anyone navigating the social complexities of life. Just remember to adapt the advice to your own style, sprinkle in some genuine “you”, and most importantly, have fun! Building strong relationships takes time and effort, but the rewards – better teamwork, stronger networks, and maybe even a few extra coffee dates – are definitely worth it.
Now go forth, my power players, and conquer the social world with your newfound friend-making magic!
And don’t forget to Share your favorite Carnegie tips and friend-making hacks in the comments! Let’s build a community of boss ladies who rock both the boardroom and the brunch table.